10 Things You Mutter While Writing a Query Letter

  1. “What is my book about? No, really. Someone tell me!”
  2. “Why do I have so many characters?!?”
  3. “Why does this sound like a D&D game…? A bad D&D game.”
  4. “What would (enter famous author’s name) do? Oh, right.  Write better.”
  5. “FRAUD POLICE.” *siren wail*
  6. “Why would anyone read this? I don’t even want to read this.”
  7. “Maybe if I stare at my computer……..” *inaudible muttering*
  8. “That’s not even a sentence.  Is that a sentence?  I want that to be a sentence.  What even is a sentence?”
  9. “Despite the last 300 words, please… Trust me!”
  10. “Oh yeah! I’ve got this.  I’m amazing.”
  11. “I lied.”
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